Looking for the top strip clubs in Melbourne? Finding the top Melbourne strip venues, as in any city, isn’t as simple as browsing on Yelp or Google strip club near me. They claim Melbourne is Australia’s most “liveable” city, owing to its abundance of good eating options, late evenings, liberal liquor licensing, European flair and the beautiful strippers Melbourne has to offer. While all of these things are true (despite the fact that they gloss over the crappy weather), there is another aspect that makes a city liveable, and that is its strip clubs. And we’ve been doing our homework.

Whether it’s a dive bar with cheap beers and girls named “Starla” or the most opulent of gentlemen’s clubs with lashings of Chivas and girls named “Tiffany,” a good strip club makes the liveability of a city, and Melbourne strip clubs tucked away in its back lanes can compete with the best of them.

Maybe you’re just passing through on business, or maybe you’re planning a night out with the lads: in any case, these are the 9 finest strip clubs Melbourne has to offer.

Kittens

Kittens is one of Victoria’s most well-known names for a good time, with two venues, Kittens Caulfield and Kittens South Melbourne. Kittens’ ladies have been jiggling their jugs at guests for more than 15 years and given their broad and trusted reputation in adult entertainment, amid boisterous buck’s revellers and business clients alike, is a sure choice for your next visit to a Melbourne strip club. They also have a bikini carwash in Bentleigh East, a boat cruise, and a party bus, so there are plenty of ways to have a good time. Plus, you really can’t resist some of the sexy strippers Melbourne has to offer.

Spearmint Rhino Gentleman’s Club

Spearmint Rhino, one of Melbourne’s “classier” nudity-based companies, is a global brand with clubs in the United Kingdom, the United States, and Australia. It is well-known for its bottle service, outstanding beverages menu, attractive strippers Melbourne has, and lack of riff-raff. Melbourne should consider itself fortunate to have a strip club. There is just one location in Australia, and it is in Melbourne. This establishment’s patrons may expect a really memorable night. There is a dress requirement, so make sure you’re looking nice before entering this Melbourne strip club, and FYI: Spearmint Rhino Melbourne is not the cheapest strip club in town. However, it is a real candidate for Melbourne’s best strip. So be prepared to part with your cash (after all, it is a special event, right?)

Goldfingers

Goldfingers is a raucous nightspot on Lonsdale Street, one of the first things you encounter after coming out of Southern Cross station. It is notable for being open from noon till late from Tuesday to Friday. Goldfingers has established its reputation as one of Melbourne’s top strip clubs for a sensational night (or afternoon, perhaps) out through events and themed evenings (including the occasional hospo industry night), thanks to the almost nude strippers Melbourne features.

Dreams Gentlemen’s Club

Dreams, which bills itself as a “Table Top Dancing Venue,” is the Melbourne strip club for the sophisticated man who enjoys a coldie or two while enjoying a nice perv. Dreams Gentlemen’s Club, which is open Tuesday through Saturday, boasts “Super Sexy Fridays,” which we can only presume are both sexy and held on Fridays. For die-hard fans and frequent guests, Dreams Melbourne also offers corporate, gold, and platinum membership levels.

Magic Men Melbourne

We all know that strip clubs aren’t only for heterosexual men, and in many cases, they’re not even for men at all. Prahan’s Magic Men Melbourne targets a somewhat different demographic. This spectacular performance features the greatest male strippers Melbourne has to offer, and it’s a combination of beauty and strength. If you’re looking for a little of entertainment, Magic Men is the country’s largest male revue in terms of size, followers, and social media, so you can be sure the boys know what they’re doing.

• Phone: 1300 624 426 
• Address: Love Machine, 228a Malvern Rd, Prahran VIC 3181
• Hours of operation: 24 hours

Maxine’s Gentlemen’s Club

Maxine’s, like Sydney’s Twin Peeks, provides a more comprehensive buck’s night experience, beginning with a two-course supper and ending with a serving of pure nudity. Maxine’s is a bit more fun than your usual sleazy strip joint, and as such, it earns a spot on this list of Melbourne’s finest strip clubs.

Centrefold Lounge

Centrefold Lounge, which spans three stories and features five distinct bars, is probably Australia’s Mecca of smut. With hundreds of females on show each week, there’s always something for everyone, and the interior decor is more elegant than your typical Kings Cross version. This Melbourne strip club also provides membership and function packages. Centrefold Lounge is not only one of the greatest Melbourne strip clubs, but also one of the best in Australia and maybe the world.

Sin City Gentlemen’s Club

Sin City is one of Victoria’s favorite playgrounds, located in sunny Dandenong (just outside of Melbourne). Sin City Dandenong has a more traditional, grungy strip club feel to it, with a variety of gorgeous dancers, a good range of liquor behind the bar, and an overall entertaining mood, for anybody who wants a pinch of adolescent nostalgia with their watered-down shots and lustful lap dance.